Relationships

A man once asked Ubay b. Kaʿb – Allāh be pleased with him, “Exhort me with something I can benefit by and by which I will be rewarded.” He replied, “Be brotherly with brothers according to how righteous they are, do not expend your speech on those who are not interested in it, do not seek anyone to meet your need who does not care if he does not fulfil it, and do not envy the living except for something you would envy the dead.”

Al-Ājurrī, Juz fīhi Ḥikāyāt ʿan Al-Shāfiʿī article 24.

Whoever hears of a bidʿah, let him not tell it to those who are with him, lest he cast it into their hearts.

Al-Dhahabī, Siyar ʾAʿlām Al-Nubalāʾ 7:261.

Sit with the seniors, mix with the wise, and enquire with the scholars.

Ibn Ḥibbān, Rawḍatu Al-ʿUqalāʾ p176. See Al-Albānī, Al-Ḍaʿīfah ḥadīth 3462.

No man speaks well about another while not knowing it to be true except that he is also likely to speak badly about him without knowing it to be true. And two people do not accompany each other doing something that is not obedience to Allāh except that it is likely they will part from each other doing something that is not obedience to Allāh.

Abū Bakr Al-Daynūrī, Al-Mujālasah wa Jawāhir Al-ʿIlm 5:274 article 2118.

A man once came to Ibn ʿAbbās and said, “I proposed to a woman and she refused to marry me, then someone else proposed to her and she wanted to marry him; so I became jealous and killed her. Can I repent from this?” [Ibn ʿAbbās] asked, “Is your mother alive?” He replied, “No.” So he said, “Repent (tawbah) to Allāh the mighty and majestic, and worship him as much as you can.” ʿAṭāʾ said, “So I went and asked Ibn ʿAbbās, ‘Why did you ask him if his mother was alive?’ He replied, ‘I do not know of any action that brings one closer to Allāh than dutifulness to the mother.'”

Al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad ḥadīth 4. Graded ṣaḥīḥ by Al-Albānī. See Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Chapter on Dutifulness to the Mother; Al-Ṣaḥīḥah 6:711 ḥadīth 2799.

Do not expose yourself to what does not concern you, stay away from your enemy, beware of [taking as] your friend anyone except the trustworthy amongst people – and there is no one who is trustworthy except one who fears Allāh; and do not accompany the sinner in case you learn his sinfulness, and do not let him know your secrets, and consult those who fear Allāh for your affairs.

Ibn Abī Shaybah, Al-Muṣannaf 34476.

There are three things that I like for myself and for my brothers: That the Muslim man looks to the Qurān; he learns it, recites it, ponders it and refers to it. Second, that he looks to the narrations and the Sunnah; he asks about it and follows it with all his efforts. Third, that he leaves alone all these people except when doing good.

Al-Bukhāri, Al-Ṣaḥīḥ, no. 97 (in annotative, discontiguous form). The chain of transmission is connected in Al-Marwazī, Al-Sunnah, no. 108.

A brother who, whenever you meet him, points out to you one of your faults (for you to correct yourself) is better for you than a brother who, whenever you meet him, puts a dīnār (money) in your hand.

Abū Bakr Al-Daynūrī, Al-Mujālasah wa Jawāhir Al-ʿIlm no. 1428.

There are three things that must be given to both the righteous and the sinful: the ties of the womb (relatives) must be kept connected, whether they are righteous or sinful; trust must be fulfilled, for the righteous and the sinful; and promises must be kept, to the righteous as well as the sinful.

Ibn Abī Shaybah, Al-Muṣannaf 12:298.

Please write down all knowledge for me. Ibn ʿUmar replied: Knowledge is vast, but if you can meet Allāh having kept your back light of the burden of people’s blood, your stomach void of people’s wealth and having kept your tongue from [disparaging] their honour, then do so.

Al-Dhahabī, Siyar ʾAʿlām Al-Nubalāʾ 3:222

Do not mix except with those who have good character; for the one who has good character brings nothing but good, whilst the one who has bad character brings nothing but evil.

Al-Bayhaqī, Shuʿab Al-Īmān, #87044

I do not know anything rarer than a good dirham (money earnt lawfully) whose owner spends it on something right, or a brother in Islām in whose company one finds peace. And they are only getting rarer.

Abu Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyā` 3:17

There is nothing that corrupts a person or rectifies him more than [his] companion. Ibn Battah, Al-Ibānah Al-Kubrā article 504.

Ibn Battah, Al-Ibānah Al-Kubrā article 504.

Ibn Abī Shaybah, Al-Muṣannaf article 6387.

We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allāh keep you right!”, “May Allāh keep you well!” Abū Nu’aym, Ḥilyatu Al-Awliyā` 5:198. After the death of his wife Umm Ṣālih, Imām Aḥmad – Allāh have mercy on them, used to praise her. He once said: In the thirty years she was with me, we never had a single word of disagreement. Al-Khaṭīb Al-Baghdādī, Tārīkh Baghdād 16:626.

Al-Khaṭīb Al-Baghdādī, Tārīkh Baghdād 16:626.

“Restraint is praiseworthy except in three things.” People asked, “And what are they o Abū Baḥr?” He replied, “Make haste to do the righteous deed, hurry to conduct the funeral of your deceased, and marry the girl in your charge to a suitable man [as soon as you find him.]” Abū Bakr Al-Daynūrī, Al-Mujālasah wa Jawāhir Al-‘Ilm 6:307.

Abū Bakr Al-Daynūrī, Al-Mujālasah wa Jawāhir Al-‘Ilm 6:307.

If I had ten days left to live, and I knew I would die by the end of them, and I had enough time to get married, I would get married for fear of temptation (fitnah). Sa’īd b. Mansūr, Al-Sunan article 493.

Sa’īd b. Mansūr, Al-Sunan article 493.

Marry, for if the servant of Allah commits fornication Allah snatches the light of īmān from him, and may or may not return it to him.

Ibn Sa’d, Al-Ṭabaqāt Al-Kubrā (Dār Ṣādir ed.), Vol.5 p287.