Family

When Iyās was born I invited a group of the Companions of the Prophet ﷺ and fed them, and they supplicated. I said, “You have all supplicated so may Allāh bless you in what you have supplicated for, and when I make a supplication please say āmīn.” So I supplicated much for him (my newborn) for his religion, his intelligence and the like, and verily now I recognize in him [the qualities] in the supplication of that day.

Al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad ḥadīth 1255. Al-Albānī grades its chain of transmission ṣaḥīḥ in Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 950/1255.

A man once came to Ibn ʿAbbās and said, “I proposed to a woman and she refused to marry me, then someone else proposed to her and she wanted to marry him; so I became jealous and killed her. Can I repent from this?” [Ibn ʿAbbās] asked, “Is your mother alive?” He replied, “No.” So he said, “Repent (tawbah) to Allāh the mighty and majestic, and worship him as much as you can.” ʿAṭāʾ said, “So I went and asked Ibn ʿAbbās, ‘Why did you ask him if his mother was alive?’ He replied, ‘I do not know of any action that brings one closer to Allāh than dutifulness to the mother.'”

Al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad ḥadīth 4. Graded ṣaḥīḥ by Al-Albānī. See Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Chapter on Dutifulness to the Mother; Al-Ṣaḥīḥah 6:711 ḥadīth 2799.

There are three types of men and three types of women. As for the women, then [one] is the chaste, Muslim, gentle, loving and childbearing woman. She helps her family in difficult situations and does not help situations to overcome her family. Rarely will you find such women. Another is a vessel, she does nothing more than bear children. The third type is a shackle, Allāh puts her around the neck of whomever he wills, and when he wills to remove it, he removes it. Men are [also] three kinds. [The first is] a chaste, easy, gentle man who possesses opinion (insight) and is worthy of being consulted; and when a matter befalls him, he follows his insight, and approaches matters as they should be. [The second is] a man who has no opinions of his own, and when a matter befalls him he goes to the one who does have insight and should be consulted, and he adopts his opinion on the matter. The third is a man who is confused, lost and aimless; he neither follows (seeks) guidance, nor obeys any guide.

Al-Bayhaqī, Shuʿab Al-Īmān 10:39 ḥadīth 7131.

We only used to own a single ram’s skin (leather mat), we used to sleep on one end of it and Fāṭimah used to knead dough on the other end.

Wakīʿ b. Al-Jarrāḥ, Al-Zuhd article 114.

The Salaf used to teach their children to love Abū Bakr and ʿUmar like they used to teach them a sūrah of the Qurān.

Al-Lālakāʾī, Sharḥ ʾUsūl ʾIʿtiqād Ahl Al-Sunnah #2325.

Verily Shayṭān comes to your bed after your wife has made it and prepared it and throws a stick, a stone, or something [similar] on it to make the husband angry with his wife. So if someone finds this, let him not be angry with his wife, for it is the work of Shayṭān.

Al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad #1191. The chain of transmission is graded ḥasan by Shaykh Al-Albānī; he also regards it as being authentic from the Prophet ﷺ . See Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1:463

There are three things that must be given to both the righteous and the sinful: the ties of the womb (relatives) must be kept connected, whether they are righteous or sinful; trust must be fulfilled, for the righteous and the sinful; and promises must be kept, to the righteous as well as the sinful.

Ibn Abī Shaybah, Al-Muṣannaf 12:298.

My brother, marry, for if you have a child and it dies, it will precede you into Al-Jannah (and be a cause for you to be admitted), and if it lives, the child will supplicate for good for you.

ʿAbd Al-Razzāq Al-Ṣanʿānī, Al-Muṣannaf #10388

A man from his people, from the Anṣār, went out one night to pray ʿIshāʾ with his people [during the Caliphate of ʿUmar], but some jinn abducted him, and he went missing. His wife went to ʿUmar and told him [of her missing husband]. ʿUmar asked his people about him, and they confirmed that he had gone out to pray ʿIshāʾ but had gone missing. [ʿUmar] told the woman to wait for four years. When four years had passed, the woman went back to ʿUmar and informed him [of her case]. He asked her people and they confirmed the case. He told her she could now marry, and she did. But her [first] husband returned and raised a dispute [over the marriage] to ʿUmar b. Al-Khaṭṭāb – Allāh be pleased with him. ʿUmar said, “One of you disappears for ages, his family does not know whether he is alive or not [and then he turns up, making claims]!” The man replied, “O Leader of the Believers, I have an excuse.” He asked, “And what is your excuse?” The man replied, “I went out to pray ʿIshāʾ one night, but some jinn captured me, and I [was held captive] by them for a long time. Then, some Muʾmin – or Muslim (one of the reporters, Saʿīd, was not sure of the exact word used) jinn waged an attack on them, fought them and beat them, and took captives. They took me amongst the captives, but said, ‘We see that you are a Muslim man, and it is not allowed for us to keep you captive.’ So they gave me the choice of staying with them or returning to my family. I chose to return to my family. They set off with me. By night, no one would say anything to me; but by day there would be a stick I would follow.” ʿUmar – Allāh be pleased with him – asked the man, “What was your food when you were amongst them?” He replied, “Difficult [stolen?] food, and what had not had the name of Allāh mentioned over it.” ʿUmar asked, “And what did you drink when you were amongst them?” He replied, “Al-jadaf (a type of drink that does not ferment).” ʿUmar ruled that the man had a choice to either get back the ṣadāq (dowry) he had given [and have his marriage stay nullified], or take back his wife.

Al-Bayhaqi, Al-Sunan Al-Kubrā 7:445,446. Al-Albānī graded its chain of transmission ṣaḥīḥ in Irwā Al-Ghalīl 4:151

We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allāh keep you right!”, “May Allāh keep you well!” Abū Nu’aym, Ḥilyatu Al-Awliyā` 5:198. After the death of his wife Umm Ṣālih, Imām Aḥmad – Allāh have mercy on them, used to praise her. He once said: In the thirty years she was with me, we never had a single word of disagreement. Al-Khaṭīb Al-Baghdādī, Tārīkh Baghdād 16:626.

Al-Khaṭīb Al-Baghdādī, Tārīkh Baghdād 16:626.

A righteous woman with a man is like a great gold-leafed crown on the head of a king, and a bad woman with a man is like a heavy weight upon an old man. Ibn Abī Al-Shaybah, Al-Muṣannaf article 17428.

Ibn Abī Al-Shaybah, Al-Muṣannaf article 17428.

The house in which the Qur’ān is not recited is like a derelict house that has no one to maintain it. It is also reported that he said: Verily the emptiest of houses are those that are empty of the Book of Allāh. It is reported that Abū Hurayrah – Allāh be pleased with him – used to say about the house in which the Qur’ān is recited: It becomes spacious for its inhabitants, the good of it becomes plentiful, the angels come to it and the devils leave it. And the house in which the Qur’ān is not recited becomes cramped for its inhabitants, has little good in it, and the devils come to it. Ibn Abī Shaybah, Al-Muṣannaf articles 30645, 30647 and 30650.

Ibn Abī Shaybah, Al-Muṣannaf articles 30645, 30647 and 30650.

I once came to an area in one part of which was a graveyard. After ‘aṣr, one of the graves split open and a man with the head of a donkey and the body of a human came up from it and brayed three times, after which the grave closed back up on him. I then saw an old woman weaving fleece or wool, and a woman said, “Do you see that old woman?” I said, “What about her?” She replied, “That is the mother of this [dead] man.” I asked, “What was his story?” She replied, “He used to drink wine, and whenever he would go out his mother would say, ‘O my son, fear Allāh; until when will you keep drinking wine?’ He would reply, ‘You bray like a donkey.'” The woman said, “He then died after ‘aṣr, so every day after ‘asr the grave opens up and he brays a few times, then the grave closes up on him again.” Al-Hāfidh Abul-Qāsim Al-Aṣbahānī, Al-Targhīb wa Al-Tarhīb article 471. Shaykh Nāṣir Al-Dīn Al-Albānī graded this narration ḥasan in his edition of Al-Mundhirī’s Al-Targhīb wa Al-Tarhīb. See Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Targhīb wa Al-Tarhīb ḥadīth 2517. Al-Mundhirī quotes Al-Aṣbahānī as saying: This [story] was narrated by Abul-‘Abbās Al-Aṣam in a dictation at Naysābūr, in the presence of great preservers [of traditions] and people of knowledge, and they did not reject it.

Al-Mundhirī quotes Al-Aṣbahānī as saying: This [story] was narrated by Abul-‘Abbās Al-Aṣam in a dictation at Naysābūr, in the presence of great preservers [of traditions] and people of knowledge, and they did not reject it.

No man can have anything better after faith (īmān) than a woman of righteous character, loving and child-bearing. And no man can have anything worse after unbelief (kufr) than a sharp-tongued woman of bad character. Al-Ḥāfidh Abul-Qāsim Al-Aṣbahānī, Al-Targhīb wa Al-Tarhīb article 1528. Also recorded in other sources with a slight variation in wording.

Al-Ḥāfidh Abul-Qāsim Al-Aṣbahānī, Al-Targhīb wa Al-Tarhīb article 1528. Also recorded in other sources with a slight variation in wording.

If I had ten days left to live, and I knew I would die by the end of them, and I had enough time to get married, I would get married for fear of temptation (fitnah). Sa’īd b. Mansūr, Al-Sunan article 493.

Sa’īd b. Mansūr, Al-Sunan article 493.

I was once with Sufyān b. ‘Uyainah – Allah have mercy on him, when a man came to him and said, “O Abū Muḥammad, I complain to you of so-and-so”, meaning his wife, “I am the lowest and most despicable thing to her.” [Sufyān] lowered his head for a few moments, then said, “Perhaps you wanted her in order to better your status.” The man said, “Indeed, o Abū Muḥammad.” Sufyān said, “Whoever goes for glory will be tried with ignominy, whoever goes for wealth will be tried with poverty, but whoever goes for religiousness, Allah will bring together for him glory and wealth with the religion.” He then started to narrate to him: We were four brothers: Muḥammad, ‘Umrān, IbrāhĪm and I. Muḥammad was the eldest, ‘Umrān was the youngest, and I was in the middle. When Muḥammad wanted to marry, he desired status and married a woman of higher standing, so Allah tried him with ignominy. ‘Umrān desired wealth, so he married a richer woman and Allah tried him with poverty: [her family] took everything from him and gave him nothing. I pondered their situation. Mu’ammar b. Rāshid once came to us so I consulted him on the situation and told him the story of my brothers. He reminded me of the ḥadĪth of Yaḥyā b. Ja’dah and the ḥadĪth of ‘Ā`ishah. The ḥadĪth of Yaḥyā b. Ja’dah states that the Prophet – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – said, “A woman is married for four things: her religion, her status (lineage), her wealth or her beauty; so take the religious one and be successful.” The ḥadĪth of ‘Ā`ishah states that the Prophet – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – said, “The most blessed woman is she who is easiest to maintain.” Thus, I chose [to marry a woman of] religion and modest dowry, in accordance with the Sunnah of Allah’s Messenger – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, and Allah gave me status and wealth along with the religion. Abū Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyā` 7:289, 290. Note The first ḥadĪth is recorded by Al-BukhārĪ and Muslim. The second is found in Al-Nasā`Ī and other collections but has been graded weak by scholars including Shaykh Al-AlbānĪ. However, scholars point out there is another narration that supports and adds to its meaning. This ḥadĪth states: It is from the blessing in a woman that she has an easy dowry, an easy proposal [via her guardian] and an easy womb (i.e. she is fertile and bares children without difficulty). One of the reporters of this narration, ‘Urwah, said “And I say from myself, one of the first signs of evil from a woman is for her to have a high dowry.” This ḥadĪth is recorded by Imām Aḥmad and others and is graded ḥasan by Shaykh Al-AlbānĪ.

Note The first ḥadĪth is recorded by Al-BukhārĪ and Muslim. The second is found in Al-Nasā`Ī and other collections but has been graded weak by scholars including Shaykh Al-AlbānĪ. However, scholars point out there is another narration that supports and adds to its meaning. This ḥadĪth states: It is from the blessing in a woman that she has an easy dowry, an easy proposal [via her guardian] and an easy womb (i.e. she is fertile and bares children without difficulty). One of the reporters of this narration, ‘Urwah, said “And I say from myself, one of the first signs of evil from a woman is for her to have a high dowry.” This ḥadĪth is recorded by Imām Aḥmad and others and is graded ḥasan by Shaykh Al-AlbānĪ.

Stay away from mentioning women and food in our gatherings, for I hate a man to constantly be talking about his private parts and his belly. It is from higher conduct and religiousness that a man [sometimes] leaves eating food while he desires it.

Abū Bakr Al-Daynūrī, Al-Mujālasah wa Jawāhir Al-‘Ilm, 3:44, 45.

Al-Dhahabī, Siyar A’lām Al-Nubalā` Vol. 2 p223.

Al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad. Shaykh Al-Albānī graded its chain of transmission sahīh in Sahīh Al-Adab Al-Mufrad Vol. 1 p19.

Ibn Al-Mubārak, Al-Zuhd wa Al-Raqā`iq Vol. 4 p463. Hibbān b. Abī Jablah is from the Tābi’ūn. He died in 122 or 125H. Allāh knows best.

Allāh knows best.

Imām Ahmad, Al-Zuhd Vol. 3 p268. ‘Amr b. Qays Al-Malā`ī lived in the time of the younger Tābi’ūn. He died in 146H.

‘Amr b. Qays Al-Malā`ī lived in the time of the younger Tābi’ūn. He died in 146H.

Al-Dhahabī, Siyar A’lām Al-Nubalā`, in his biography of Al-Mughīrah b. Shu’bah

Ibrāhīm b. Maysurah reports that Ṭāwūs said to him, “You better get married or I will say to you what ʿUmar b. Al-Khattāb said to Abū Al-Zawā`id: ‘Nothing but incapability or sinfulness is preventing you from getting married!’” Al-Dhahabī, Siyar A’lām Al-Nubalā`, in his biography of Ṭāwūs. Ṭāwūs b. Kaysān was a great scholar and ascetic. He was the most renowned scholar of Yemen during his time. He is regarded as one of the senior companions and students of Ibn ‘Abbās, and reports narrations from a number of other Companions.

Ṭāwūs b. Kaysān was a great scholar and ascetic. He was the most renowned scholar of Yemen during his time. He is regarded as one of the senior companions and students of Ibn ‘Abbās, and reports narrations from a number of other Companions.

Women are but an ‘awrah (something private to be covered). A woman might leave her house without there being any problem with her, but the Shaytān seeks her out and says [to her], “You will not pass by anyone except that you will impress/please him.” A woman puts on her clothes and is asked where she is going, to which she replies, “To visit a sick person,” or “to attend a funeral”, or “to pray in the masjid”; but a woman never worships Allāh in the way she does when she worships Him in her house. Al-Tabarānī. Graded sahīh by Shaykh Al-Albānī in Sahīh Al-Targhībi wa Al-Tarhīb Vol. 1 p84.

Al-Tabarānī. Graded sahīh by Shaykh Al-Albānī in Sahīh Al-Targhībi wa Al-Tarhīb Vol. 1 p84.

Al-Bukhârî, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad. Shaykh Al-Albânî (Sahîh Al-Adab Al-Mufrad p268) said this narration’s chain of narration is sahîh.

May Allāh curse those women who tattoo or seek to be tattooed, those women who remove facial hair or seek it to be removed and those women who put gaps between their teeth for beautification; those who seek to change Allāh’s creation. This reached a woman from Banī Asad who was called Umm Ya’qūb and who used to read the Qur`ān. She came to [Ibn Mas’ūd] and said, “What is this I hear from you, that you curse women who tattoo or seek to get tattooed, and those who remove facial hair and those who put gaps between their teeth for beauty, those who change Allāh’s creation?” ʿAbdullāh [Ibn Mas’ūd] replied, “And why should I not curse those whom Allāh’s Messenger has cursed and those who are mentioned in Allāh’s Book?” She said, “I have read [the Qur`ān] from cover to cover and I have not seen it mentioned.” He replied, “If you had really read it [carefully] you would have found it; Allāh the Mighty and Sublime said: And whatever the Messenger gives you, take it; and whatever he forbids you, shun it. [Al-Ḥashr (59):7] The woman then said, “Well I have just seen some of this on your own wife.” He said, “Go and see her.” So she went to the wife of ʿAbdullāh but didn’t see anything. She returned to him and said, “I don’t see anything.” He said, “Well, if any of those practices had been done I would not be with her any more.” Al-Bukhārī and Muslim. This translation is from the version in Muslim. Points to note These points have been summarized from Ibn Ḥajr, Fatḥ Al-Bārī and Al-Nawawī, Sharḥ Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim.

These points have been summarized from Ibn Ḥajr, Fatḥ Al-Bārī and Al-Nawawī, Sharḥ Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim.

{Voluntary] bachelorhood has nothing to do with Islâm. The Prophet – Allâh’s peace and blessings be upon him – married fourteen women, and he died being married to nine of them. If Bishr b. Al-Hârith had married, his affairs would be complete. If people left marrying no one would go to battle or go on pilgrimage (Al-Hajj), and such-and-such wouldn’t happen. He went on to say: The Prophet – Allâh’s peace and blessings be upon him – would wake in the morning and his family would have nothing to eat and go to bed at night and they would have nothing to eat, [yet] he died married to nine wives, he chose marriage and encouraged others to marry. Abû Bakr Al-Marrûdhî, Kitâb Al-Wara’ p116, 117.

Abû Bakr Al-Marrûdhî, Kitâb Al-Wara’ p116, 117.

O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels, stern and severe, and who disobey not the commands they receive from Allāh, but do that which they are commanded. [66:6] · ‘Alī b. Abī Ṭālib – Allah be pleased with him: Discipline them, teach them. · Ibn ‘Abbās – Allah be pleased with them: Stay obedient to Allāh, stay away from disobeying Allāh and command your families to remember Allāh, and He will save you from the Fire. · Mujāhid – Allāh have mercy on him: Fear Allāh and obey him (practice taqwā) and tell your families to practice taqwā. · Qatādah – Allāh have mercy on him: A person protects his family by telling them to obey Allāh and forbidding them from disobeying Him. He upholds Allāh’s commandments and helps his family to uphold them. So if you see some disobedience of Allāh you stop them from doing it, and you reprimand them. Al-Ṭabarī, Al-Tafsīr, Sūrah Al-Taḥrīm.

Al-Ṭabarī, Al-Tafsīr, Sūrah Al-Taḥrīm.

Al-Dhahabī , Siyar A’lām Al-Nubalā` in his biography of Maymūn b. Mahrān.

I have lived amongst men who were such that one of them would lie with his wife on the same pillow and his side of the pillow would be soaked with his tears under his cheek without his wife even noticing. Ibn Abī Al-Dunyā, Al-Ikhlās wa Al-Nīyah (Sincerity and Intentions) p34. Muhammad b. Wāsi’ Al-Azadī Al-Basrī was one of the famous and pious Tābi’īn. He reports from Anas b. Mālik – Allah be pleased with him – and others. He died in 123H, Allah have mercy on him.

Muhammad b. Wāsi’ Al-Azadī Al-Basrī was one of the famous and pious Tābi’īn. He reports from Anas b. Mālik – Allah be pleased with him – and others. He died in 123H, Allah have mercy on him.

We used to make toys out of dyed wool for the children and keep them with us so if the children asked us for food we would give them the toys to distract them until they completed their fast. Sahīh Muslim. A similar narration is also in Sahīh Al-Bukhārī. Al-Nawawī states in his commentary on Sahīh Muslim: In this narration we are shown that children should be trained to do acts of obedience and made used to doing worship; although they are not legally bound.

In this narration we are shown that children should be trained to do acts of obedience and made used to doing worship; although they are not legally bound.